Since I started writing again several years ago, I’ve received comments on social media and blog posts, direct messages via social media, and even emails from my readers about how a particular piece of my writing impacted them, what thoughts my words inspired. I’ve been honored to be a safe place for several women who have told me about assaults or abuse in their pasts, my own story having encouraged them to share theirs for the very first time… sometimes decades after it happened.

I treasure each word, profoundly moved by evidence that taking my pain from the darkness of…


What do you think of when you hear the words “my first time”?

I expect some people will flash back to that very first time they had consensual sex. Some may be propelled back in time to the first time they were assaulted. Perhaps others who are acquainted with my writing and my penchant for alternate meanings with my blog titles may be wondering where I’m going with this one.

I assure you I’m not going to talk about my first experience with consensual sex. However, we do need to briefly travel back in time to the end of the…


Photo by Claudio Schwarz on Unsplash

In the introduction to my memoir, resilient, I talk about how there’s so often a story behind what people like or don’t like, whether it’s food or colors or flowers or weather or locations or words.

And that’s the thing, really… we all have these stories that make up who we are. What may sound odd on the surface, like my abhorrence of canned peas, suddenly makes so much sense when you have the backstory, the necessary context. When we forget that there is always context we cannot see, we are prone to judgment and dismissiveness. …


Photo by Florian Klauer on Unsplash

Chanel Miller wrote the words below in her memoir, Know My Name, about societal expectations that we only focus on the positive, that we only tell the “happy” parts of our stories and shy away from anything unpleasant or uncomfortable. Anything that isn’t uplifting, heartening, inspiring. Anything that makes us cringe or feel pain or anger.

“You will find society asking you for the happy ending, saying come back when you’re better, when what you say can make us feel good, when you have something more uplifting, affirming.”

-CHANEL MILLER

This is one of my favorite lines from her book…


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Years ago, before I started therapy and before I started writing for others, I made a decision. I had a parenting moment which demonstrated to me that my life of “being fine” was a lie, and-most importantly-that I wasn’t going to be the only person hurt by that lie. I had to make a choice: face my past, or continue to shove my head into the sand and pretend nothing was wrong, assuring I’d pass some of the trauma I was trying to forget to my children.

I chose to face my past, but I wasn’t ready to talk to…


There’s a question I’ve wrestled with since some of my earliest memories, though I can’t pinpoint exactly the first time it rose in my mind. I know it was before I was ten because that was the year I wrote a novella with this question at the heart of it:

Where do my rights end and yours begin?

Wait-did you just wrinkle your nose when you read that? I did after I typed it. Something about it seems off, right? Let me try again.

Where do your rights end and mine begin?

But wait-isn’t that the same thing? Yes and…


When you flip a coin for something, you choose heads or you choose tails, but it’s still the same coin flipping. One coin, two sides. But which side you choose can make all the difference. Maybe you’re flipping to decide if you’re having pizza or pancakes for dinner, or to decide if you’re watching a thriller or romantic comedy before bed, or to decide who’s getting up to change diapers at 2:00am. Either way, you’re still having dinner, you’re still watching a movie, and someone is still getting up to change diapers. One coin, two sides.

I think that perspective…


Recently, I’ve been focused heavily on my forthcoming memoir, . As is the case any time you are writing about personal experiences, I’ve had to relive many periods in my life in order to write them in such a way that the reader is right there with me. And if you read my last blog post of 2020 ( We are the Storm), you already know what an unexpected emotional adventure it has been, though it has become easier to sit with those past experiences over the course of working on my book. …


I love creating. Of course, not all creative talents are created equally-at least not for me. Most of mine was diverted into writing, though I still enjoy engaging in other artistic pursuits from time to time.

One such pursuit is drawing. Every so often since I was young, I’ve felt a deep pull to create images of sorts with my hands, particularly in conjunction with writing poetry, but sometimes just on its own. …


If I had to label the way I engage in the writing process, I would say that I’m an intuitive writer. It’s as if I’m listening to a friend tell me a story about their life and I’m simply here to transcribe their words. I also follow my gut regarding which project I’ll focus on during those precious two hours I devote to my writing career every day.

For those of you who like to plan ahead and then execute that plan, fellow writers who identify as plotters, I know you’re cringing-and I don’t blame you. Even I cringe when…

Katherine Turner

Author. Editor. Survivor. Believer in the healing power of love. kturnerwrites.com

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